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August 24, 2010

1986 is Radical!

You read right, I said 1986 is radical! Apparently people used to say radical instead of cool, in case you’re wondering what I’m talking about. I picked up the word the other day while I was playing a few classic games in the arcade down the street. Arcades were way more popular back in 1986, probably because a lot of people didn’t have game consoles in their homes yet.

I must’ve spent three hours there playing all the games my older cousins used to talk about. I used to laugh at them when they told me how fun they were. I mean, how fun can a game with such bad graphics be? VERY FUN! I’m so glad I had all those quarters in my pockets.

I’d love to see the face of the arcade owner when he opens up the case and finds it filled with coins from 2010! Anyway, I was playing one game for a while and another kid got upset with me for hogging such a “gnarly” game. I told him to wait his turn, but he just walked to the back of the arcade cabinet and pulled the plug on me! He cost me the high score!

But he gave me a great idea…

posted by Alan

July 8, 2010

Wait, what?

Back in time? Seriously? What’s next, a zombie invasion? Bah. I miss the simpler times. I miss back when it was just me, my friends, my teachers and an intelligent robot. Oh, and my pet alien. Yep, simpler times.

So we’ve been working on a plan to catch the Bad Hatter, but it’s pretty tough. I mean, how do you catch someone (something?) that can alter reality? The old Cadets have been really helpful. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised – these students are now our teachers! I just wish we had better equipment to work with.

posted by Alan

June 29, 2010

I Need Advice!

So I want to teach those planet-spamming aliens a valuable lesson. I really want to send them a nasty virus that will stop their spamming and ruin whatever computer they are using, but I just can’t let myself do that. I’m not a Cyber Criminal, after all. I’m better than that. I’m not going to lower myself to their level.

Still, they have to be punished for getting Zwert’s hopes up like that! But what can I do? I can always just block them, but that won’t stop them. Do you Cadets have any ideas about what I should do?

posted by Alan

May 12, 2010

Not Giving Up

I was pretty bummed when I found out the message from space was nothing but spam. Despite that, I’m not going to give up. I owe it to Zwert to keep trying. The look on his face when learned he wasn’t going home…it was awful. I knew I couldn’t do much to comfort him, but I still wanted to try.

I asked Erika to help me make Zwert a special pizza with all his favorite toppings. I figured that between the two of us, we could probably figure out how to do it. After looking up a recipe online, it was pretty easy. We piled all of his favorite toppings on – herring, papaya, chocolate mousse, corn – until it was just right. I know what you’re thinking – pretty gross, right? Yeah, I don’t like corn on my pizza either. But it wasn’t for me. It was for Zwert!

I hope he likes it…

posted by Alan

April 20, 2010

Seriously?!?

After two weeks of nothing but trying to translate this alien message, Alexi and I finally figured it out! Unfortunately…it wasn’t exactly the message we were hoping for. Here’s what it said:

Attention! Someone has a crush on you! To find out who it is, forward this message to six different galaxies in the next ten minutes or your sun will explode! It really works! A friend of my sister didn’t forward this message and now her entire solar system is gone! True story!

Argh! Can you believe it! Our first communication with an extraterrestrial civilization and it’s nothing but a spam message! I think I need to tell the Earth that it’s time to update its junk mail filter…

posted by Alan

March 11, 2010

I DID IT!!!

I found a communication signal from space! It’s pretty weak, but wow, what a discovery! The signal is coming from a star in the constellation Libra. Our scientists call the star Gliese 581, but I bet Zwert’s people probably have a much catchier name for their sun. Anyway, the signal just sounds like a bunch of weird beeps and boops to me, but when I played it for Zwert he went totally crazy! I haven’t seen him this happy in months!

Now the question is, how do I call them back? Sure, I could just send a signal…but the source of the message is 20 light years away, and sound is much slower than light. I mean, light travels at almost three million miles per second. Sound, on the other hand, only travels at 340 miles per second. At that rate, it would take…well, it would take a lot longer than I need it to take! I wonder if Zwert has any ideas…

posted by Alan

February 12, 2010

HELP!!!

Oh no, I messed up really badly! I was so focused on searching for Zwert's home world that I totally forgot Valentine's Day! Dana's going to be sooooo bummed!

Okay, calm down Alan, don't freak out. It's only Friday. Valentine's Day isn't until Sunday. I've still got time! I can still make this Valentine's Day awesome! I hope. Ugh, I don't feel good.

Alright, I need to stop blogging and start thinking. And fast! Wish me luck!

posted by Alan